Damn British

So I was trollin Wikipedia looking for useless information to scratch that brain itch I occasionally get when I'm overly unemployed when I realized, What's up with TV anyways? I mean, I watch it all the time, have been my whole life, it's like an old friend, and yet I have no clue about its origins. Kinda like hanging out with a guy from middle school through college before you find out he's gay and all the signs have been in front of you the whole time, and now you realize why his mother's been so nice to you cause she thinks your his boyfriend and his father beats him regularly for being a damn pansy, so his mother encourages him hanging out with you cause you live in a nice home and he can go there and be safe and have sleep overs, like the time he started whispering a lullaby in your ear while you were going to sleep and it kinda freaked you out a little but you were like, Ah, that's just Joe being his weird old self, and then it turns out he's a fruitcake.
Okay, maybe it's not like that at all. But stay with me:
The original concept of television was the telephonoscope, made by science fiction writers, such as Frenchman Albert Robida, after the telephone was invented. The idea was to send light over the telephone lines to form moving pictures. This is illustrated in an 1890 book called "Le Vingtième siècle. La vie électrique" (The Twentieth Century: The Electrical Life). Balderdash, you may say, but that's why it was science fiction- the concept of TV was up there with space aliens and generic macaroni and cheese. Bollocks!
The first tangible form of television was the pantelegraph, used from 1881 onward. Using a mechanical pendulum operated scanning device, it was the first to venture into sending visual images via telegraph lines using electrical pulses. Then, in 1884, some cool ass dude named Paul Gottlieb Nipkow from Germany integrated a scanning disc into the pantelegraph. The scanning disc is a round cardboard deal with holes punched equally apart in a spiral which allowed light to pass through. As it spun, the wholes formed seperate lines on the screen. The telegraph signal would block certain wholes at certain times, all coordinated with the image it was scanning at the other end of the feed, and an image would roughly appear on the receiving screen. This was still impractical until amplifier tubes were better developed. Then my boy John Baird came along and fucked shit up for good. He revolutionized the concept and expanded it's range to up to 30 lines of resolution, crystal clear as far as they were concerned. Not only that, but he invented a way to record these visual signals onto wax discs using audio recording methods.
Now, since John Baird was Scottish, the British Broadcasting Company reluctantly took on his invention and marketed it. It was a hit until a digital device, which used cathode ray tubes, was invented that eventually replaced Baird's mechanical one, and that's what we've used since until recent technologies changed even that.
Did you hear that? The British lay claim to inventing modern TV. Fantastic, next thing you know they'll claim they created punk rock and colonized America before Americans did! Bollocks!!

How come PeptoBismol tastes like pink?

I hate using the downstairs bathroom. The fuckin toilet sits like 3 feet off the ground, when I sit down my feet dangle off the edge. All I need is my big Curious George book, and the man in the yellow hat will take it from there.
And it smells like old people.